horoscopes

Today the cosmos decided that astrology was boring and subcontracted your fate to the Audubon Society. Your zodiac sign has been yoked to a bird,… Read More

Tall, radiant, and always facing (hogging) the spotlight. You’re photosynthesizing applause. Today your ego will bloom like a roadside attraction–visible from space. Just remember: even sunflowers bow at dusk. Humility is your compost.

(Horoscopes presented with the reverence of a bored deity and the flair of a lounge singer who moonlights as a chaos therapist.) 🪩 Leo (July… Read More

(🾠The stars are barking, meowing, hissing, shedding again, and not entirely house trained.) 🦠Leo Pet (July 23 – August 22) The number 7.3… Read More

♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22) You will be haunted by the ghost of a decision you nearly made last year. It wears a… Read More

(The stars are drunk on nostalgia, the moon is wearing a bathrobe, and Mercury has joined a ska band.) ♌ Leo (July 23 – August… Read More

Leo (July 23 – August 22) Your life’s about to become a stage play. And you? You’re going to do a monologue in the produce… Read More