May 2006 – postcards from the pug bus

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Baby Quiz Exclusive

Chip Hilton 441 Views 3 min read

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have squashed the feeding frenzy that had threatened to overwhelm them, but their strong-arm tactics have deprived their fans of any meaningful Brangelina fix for days. If you are one of the millions of people jonesing for news of substance about the golden couple and their Read More

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Send Diplomatic Inquiry to President Bush

Chip Hilton 425 Views 3 min read

REPUBLIC OF BRANGELINA – Angelina Jolie, president of the newly formed African Republic of Brangelina, has instructed her ambassador to the United States, Brad Pitt, to send a formal letter of diplomatic inquiry to President George W. Bush. According to a source close to Ms. Jolie, the couple is seeking the same kind of diplomatic Read More

Culture Politics

President Bush Lays Wreath to Honor Fashion’s Fallen Heroes

Chip Hilton 471 Views 1 min read

MIAMI – President George W. Bush paid a surprise visit to slain fashion designer Giovanni Versace’s house in Miami last night. Mr. Bush arrived shortly after dark and placed a wreath on a stand not far from the delicate wrought iron fence that accents the late designer’s mansion. Speaking extemporaneously, the president told a small Read More

Politics

President Bush Issues Memorial Day Cell Phone Virus Alert

Biff Scuzzy 420 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush has warned Americans that the Memorial Day cell phone virus, the most virulent in-the-wild mobile phone virus yet discovered in the United States, is set to wreak havoc on the lives of teenagers, SUV drivers, and text-messaging vacationers across the land. During his weekly radio address yesterday, the president hinted Read More

Sporting Life

Barbaro E-mail Addresses Bombarded with Spam

philmaggitti 451 Views 2 min read

KENNET SQUARE, Penna. – Two e-mail addresses created to allow racing fans to send get well messages to Barbaro may have to be shut down. According to Dean Richardson, the veterinarian who operated on the Kentucky Derby champion after he had fractured his right hind leg in the Preakness, more than half the e-mails sent Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie Splits from DJ Again, Another Book Is Blamed

Biff Scuzzy 428 Views 4 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Once again a book has come between author Nicole Richie and her ex-fiance Adam Goldstein. Ms. Richie, 24, and Mr. Goldstein, 33, were engaged in February last year; but he called it quits in December, one month after the publication of Ms. Richie’s first novel, The Truth about Diamonds. Apparently Truth contained too much “truth” about Read More

Music

Paul McCartney Mourns Loss of Handicapped Parking Sticker

philmaggitti 420 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Friends of ex-Beatle Paul McCartney say he is disconsolate about the loss of the handicapped parking sticker to which he had access while he was living with his estranged, one-legged wife, Heather Mills. “It’s really all he talks about,” said Pink Floyd frontman David Gilmour. “That and the great sex they had. Apparently Read More

Celebrities

Spay Britney Spears Campaign Picks Up Endorsements

Chip Hilton 437 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The campaign to spay Britney Spears, launched yesterday by Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading satirical website, has gained three important endorsements. According to Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti, the American Kennel Club (AKC), the Mensa Society, and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) have expressed their Read More

Celebrities

Spay Britney Spears Campaign Announced

Chip Hilton 463 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – A campaign to spay Britney Spears has been launched by Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading satirical website. According to Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti, “At the rate Ms. Spears is reproducing, she and her offspring will give birth to thousands of babies, who will more than Read More

Politics

President Bush Sending Jehovah’s Witnesses to Patrol Border

philmaggitti 447 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush said last night that he will deploy 8,000 Spanish-speaking Jehovah’s Witnesses to the Mexican border to help stop the flow of illegal immigrants into the United States. Acknowledging that this country has virtually no control of its southern border, Mr. Bush argued in a prime time speech to the nation Read More

Celebrities

Brooke Shields Suffering from Postpartum Elation

T.J. Eckleburg 441 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – After the birth of her daughter Rowan three years ago, Brooke Shields suffered a crippling case of postpartum depression, which she chronicled in her book Down Came the Rain. Her efforts to help other women with similar problems earned her a broadside from Scientologist Tom Cruise, who belittled her endorsement of psychiatry and Read More

Politics

Bush, Verizon Team Up to Sell NSA Telephone Spying Program

philmaggitti 444 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush will announce during his weekly radio address today that he is taking the place of Paul Marcarelli, the long-time face of Verizon Wireless advertising, in a new series of commercials designed to sell Americans on the next phase of the president’s domestic spying initiative. As part of that Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie’s Top Ten Signs You’re Visiting a Bad Porn Web Site

philmaggitti 399 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Nicole Richie told Vanity Fair that she did not screen Paris Hilton’s career-making sex tape, “1 Night in Paris,” for some of their friends at a Los Angeles party. According to a longstanding Hollywood rumor, Ms. Hilton’s celebrated feud with Ms. Richie began in January 2005 when Ms. Hilton arrived at a party where Ms. Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Outclassed by Brooke Shields in Family Faceoff

Biff Scuzzy 415 Views 1 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields have buried the olive branch and extended the hatchet, putting paid to their feud about the value of psychiatry and antidepressants. Yet if looking well is the best revenge, Mr. Cruise has clearly taken one in the shorts from Ms. Shields, whom he went out of his way Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Answers Pregnancy Rumors on Letterman Show

Chip Hilton 406 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Britney Spears paid a surprise visit to yesterday’s taping of the “Late Show with David Letterman” in New York to deny rumors that she is bearing Mr. Letterman’s child. A spokesman for the CBS show said Ms. Spears’ brief visit, which had been arranged earlier in the day, was a surprise to Read More

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