Month: October 2006

WILMINGTON, Del. – News of the Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillippe breakup has sent tremors through the state of Delaware, “The Home of Tax-Free Shopping” and the birthplace of Mr. Phillippe. Throughout the First State—from Rehoboth Beach in the south, where gay congressmen and their pages frolic in the summer ocean, to Wilmington, 110 miles to the Read More

LOS ANGELES – The pending obituary of actress and author Nicole Richie was updated this week after The Simple Life costar had checked into a treatment facility that specializes in helping celebrities to gain weight. This routine obituary maintenance occurs whenever a celebrity gets married, divorced, engaged, unengaged, caught cheating, outed, arrested for drunken driving, hospitalized, punched Read More

CHICAGO – Audience members at the taping of The Oprah Show yesterday expected to see Madonna explain via satellite from London why she is right and everyone who criticizes her adoption of a thirteen-month-old Malawi child is wrong. They weren’t disappointed. They were surprised, however, when Oprah announced at the end of the taping that she was Read More

LONDON – Disturbing new charges of mental and emotional abuse have been leveled at Paul McCartney by his estranged second wife, Heather Mills. The charges were contained in an addendum to a thirteen-page court document filed previously by Ms. Mills, said London’s Daily Mail. A copy of the original document was faxed to news organizations by Read More

CHICAGO – Jennifer Aniston is either pregnant or in denial about her breakup with Vince Vaughn, or possibly both. These conflicting reports emerged following Ms. Aniston’s appearance at a taping for The Oprah Winfrey Show last week. They were provided by moles who had attended the taping at the request of several gossip magazines. “Jen sure looked Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Hoping to establish themselves as mature actresses and to patch up their friendship, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson have agreed to appear in The Vagina Dialogues. The new, two-woman play by Harvard dropout Kaavya Viswanathan is scheduled to open on Broadway next summer. The Vagina Dialogues tells the story of two estranged friends whose vaginas Read More

BOSTON – According to reports published in the current issues of the journals Nature and Science, a new comparison of the genetic blueprints of chimpanzees and humans shows that a mere sliver of DNA separates Courtney Love and other celebrities from chimps. The controversial reports are based on a genome-mapping project funded by the National Institutes of Health Read More

MALIBU – Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have separated after failing to agree about the kind of child they should adopt, reports US Weekly. Friends of the couple are saying, however, that Ms. Aniston and Mr. Vaughn could not agree on the species they should adopt. “Vince was thinking an African kid,” said Mr. Vaughn’s close Read More

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Once again George Clooney is whining about all the attention he gets from paparazzi, and once again he’s mad as hell and he’s not going to take it anymore. Boy George told Vanity Fair in his usual self-important way that he has developed a “theory on debunking photographs in magazines, you know, the Read More