Jerry Garcia’s Toilet Stolen, Bill Walton Is Suspect
SONOMA, Calif. – Jerry Garcia’s toilet is missing, and local police want to speak to hall of fame basketball player Bill Walton. The salmon-colored, guitar-shaped… Read More
Author: Biff Scuzzy
Pope John Paul II Fails to Deliver Miracles
ROME – This time last year the late Pope John Paul II appeared to be on the fast track to sainthood. Reports of two miracles… Read More
Tom Cruise, Brokeback Mountain, Britney Spears Make Statements
HOLLYWOOD – Tom Cruise, Brokeback Mountain, and Britney Spears all made statements yesterday. We thought you’d like to know, and even if you pretend you… Read More
Lindsay Lohan, Sasha Cohen, Reese Witherspoon in the News
HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan as Wonder Woman; Sasha Cohen as an actress; Reese Witherspoon as all three of Buck Owens’ wives in Hee Haw the Line.… Read More
Tom Cruise Courting Yahoo to Restore Image
SUNNYVALE, Calif. – Tom Cruise’ appearance at Yahoo’s Sunnyvale campus this week was calculated to achieve two effects. First, Mr. Cruise wanted desperately to call… Read More
Britney Spears on Hawaii, Orlando Bloom on Crack
MAUI – Britney Spears is quickly learning to appreciate the culture and customs of Hawaii, as the accompanying image shows. In that image Ms. Spears,… Read More
George W. Bush Photo Quiz Redux
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recently published photo of President George W. Bush has Washington insiders wagging their heads and shaking their tongues in agitated speculation.… Read More
Tom Cruise Sues Life & Style over Split Story
Tom Cruise has filed a $10-million lawsuit against Life & Style magazine for reporting that he and fiancée, Katie Holmes, called off their engagement sometime before Valentine’s… Read More