Book of Daze Archives - Page 8 of 18 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

When life hands you a to-do list, set your calendar on fire.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Ignore Your To-Do List Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Origin StoryBook of Daze Ignore Your To-Do List Day was established in 2013 by the Society for the Advancement of Procrastination, a group that insisted… Read More

Hand-drawn digital illustration of tech billionaire Jasper “Crypto Jesus” Kline tipping a full decommissioned oil rig to a shocked barista, on Book of Daze Over Tip Somebody Day

ech billionaire Jasper “Crypto Jesus” Kline still holds the record for the most unhinged tip in history: one entire oil rig.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Over Tip Somebody Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Origin StoryBook of Daze Over Tip Somebody Day began in 2009 when a hungover philosopher in Brooklyn accidentally left his entire $782 paycheck as a… Read More

Gaslight Day when you insist the problem is in their head — because it is.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Gaslight Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Celebrated on every day that ends in “y,” Book of Daze Gaslight Day pays homage to the subtle and sinister art of making other people… Read More

7-OH "Dark, moody illustration of a black snake with glowing red eyes coiled around a skeleton.

"When your dietary supplement comes with a side of existential dread."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze 7-OH Day

Biff Scuzzy bookof-daze 8 months

Celebrating 7-OH the compound that turned gas stations into gateways and wellness into weaponry. ðŸ§¬ Book of Daze 7-OH Day Origin StoryIt began, as great… Read More

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Change Your First Name Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Book of Daze Change Your First Name Day is your permission slip to ghost your pwn identity. Why settle for the moniker you’ve been dragging… Read More

“Zen and the Art of Absolutely Nothing.”

Book of Daze

Book of Daze National Nothing Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Today we honor the void, the blank page, the unflushed thought. Book of Daze National Nothing Day is dedicated to doing, saying, buying, and posting… Read More

"Pizza always tastes better the next day."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Eat Over the Sink Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Today we celebrate the art of eating like the feral kitchen cryptid you were always meant to be. Book of Daze Eat Over the Sink… Read More

"Is 'ragrets' spelled right?"

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Regret That Tattoo Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Observed annually by anyone who’s ever wept in a bathroom stall over a Chinese character that actually means “dishwasher.” Origin Story of Book of Daze… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.