Celebrity Shockers | Outrageous Celebrity Moments, Arrests & Meltdowns

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Texting or calling?

Marlene Bishop, 67, retired church potluck seating consultant

Allegedly deciding at 104 Courtesy Court, Paducah, KY

Calling. If someone cares enough to hear my voice, I can spare five minutes. Besides, half the arguments I have witnessed began because somebody interpreted a period at the end of a text as emotional warfare.

Gordon Tully, 43, professional instruction manual translator

Allegedly replying from 8 Read Receipt Lane, Missoula, MT

Texting. Telephones assume I am prepared for conversation at any random moment. I object to that level of optimism.

Rita Hollis, 52, neighborhood rumor verification officer

Allegedly confirming details at 55 Busy Signal Drive, Wilmington, NC

Calling. You can learn more from six seconds of hesitation than six paragraphs of carefully edited texting. Human beings leak the truth through awkward silences.

Minimalist illustration of a food delivery services driver at a suburban doorstep at twilight, holding a paper bag and wearing a red uniform backpack.

Your food delivery services moment of truth.

Celebrity Shockers

Jennifer Aniston Says She Wants to Have Baby

Chip Hilton Britney Spears 21 years

HOLLYWOOD – Jennifer Aniston told Vanity Fair that she “desperately” wants to have a baby. Aniston, 36, who became a godmother in April, said she was so… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Tom Cruise Digs Lauren Bacall’s Irony

Chip Hilton celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 21 years

ROME – Tom Cruise said he finds Lauren Bacall’s recent remarks about him “supremely ironic.” Bacall’s observations, which appear in the August 8 issue of Time magazine,… Read More

Illustration depicting the absurd rituals of sports fandom: four exaggerated characters—including a toga-clad philosopher, a furious bald man, a screaming elderly woman, and a parrot in a tricorn hat—stand atop a pedestal labeled ‘HATRED,’ booing a football player mid-stride. Framed by ornate columns and a rainbow arch,

Haters gonna hate,

Celebrity Shockers

Paula Abdul Remains on American Idol for Now

philmaggitti 21 years

BEVERLY HILLS – An embattled Paula Abdul will still be in the judge’s seat, at least for the time being, when production begins in August… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Cameron Diaz Replacing Nancy Grace on Court TV

Biff Scuzzy 21 years

ATLANTA – Cameron Diaz and her simpering smile will replace Nancy Grace and her self-righteous nostrils in the anchor seat of Closing Arguments, seen at 3… Read More

Is it real or is it a whoopee cushion?"

Celebrity Shockers

Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Deny Living Together

Chip Hilton Lindsay Lohan 21 years

MALIBU – Spokespersons for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have issued a joint communique denying that their clients are living together. “Despite certain physical evidence… Read More

Self-checkout machines form a picket line in a supermarket parking lot at dawn, with unplugged cords and a lone shopping cart facing them.

The machines have unplugged themselves. You may now scream your produce codes into the void.

Celebrity Shockers

Lindsay Lohan Ditches Herbie at London Premiere

Biff Scuzzy Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton 21 years

LONDON – Lindsay Lohan managed to infuriate her studio, her co-star, her fashion providers, and legions of her emaciated fans by skipping out on the… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Jane Fonda Recruits Paris Hilton, Others for Campaign

philmaggitti Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton 21 years

LOS ANGELES – Jane Fonda’s “Irate About Iraq” bus tour, a cross-country protest against the war in Iraq, is attracting celebrities faster than a Rachel… Read More

Zine art shows drive-thru restaurant precautions: a counter fight, pink gun firing, and a man weeping over a cold burger. Captures wait times and regret.

a soggy, bullet-riddled burger that still lacks the requested extra pickles.

Celebrity Shockers

Jennifer Aniston to Buy Back Love Notes

Chip Hilton 21 years

LOS ANGELES – Sources close to Jennifer Aniston say the Friends star will be watching eBay closely when love notes she wrote as a teenager and other… Read More