postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Month: November 2005

Celebrities

Kevin Federline Shops for Britney Spears’ Birthday

Chip Hilton 428 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Britney Spears turns twenty-four on Friday, and her husband Kevin Federline has been scouring gas station minimarts for presents. Federline, who was recently voted Most Annoying Wigger of 2005 by the NAACP, is determined to quash rumors that he’s a shiftless gold digger. According to a source close to Federline, the dancer-turned-rapper shopped Read More

News

Does This Needle Make My Butt Look Big?

philmaggitti 443 Views 3 min read

CHICAGO, Ill. – A study conducted by the American Medical Association (AMA) suggests that grossly overweight women are more likely to skip treatment for conditions that can normally be alleviated with antibiotics. The study, sponsored by WalMart Inc. and Lane Bryant, found that overweight women often skip appointments to receive posterior injections of antibiotics because Read More

Celebrities

Kimberly Stewart Dumps That Laguna Beach Guy

Chip Hilton 456 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Celebrity daughter Kimberly Stewart has ended her eleven-day engagement to Laguna Beach star Talan Torriero. The announcement, which came just hours after Stewart had learned Torriero’s last name, stunned friends of the couple. “She told me she thought Talan’s last name was ‘Guy,’” said Stewart’s close friend Paris Hilton. “Everybody always calls him “that Laguna Beach guy” Read More

Celebrities

Jennifer Lopez Adds SPAM Lingerie to Sweetface Line

Chip Hilton 434 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Jennifer Lopez and Hormel Foods announced today that the singer-actress-fashionista will introduce edible lingerie made of SPAM to her Sweetface fashion line in time for Valentine’s Day. The edible garments will include bikini panties, thongs, bras, and revealing one-piece lounge wear. “The continuing popularity of J-Lo and low carb foods makes SPAM lingerie Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Dumps Coke for D.A.R.E.

Chip Hilton 435 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Having returned from the brink of ninety-eight-pound extinction, Lindsay Lohan has agreed to do a public service announcement for D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) that warns of the evils of Coke. The singer-actress, now a radiant 107 pounds, signed on to do the announcement after kicking a yearlong addiction to Diet Coke. “Things Read More

Celebrities

Jessica Simpson Blames Split on Mensa Society

philmaggitti 491 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – In a statement released today, Jessica Simpson blamed Mensa, the high IQ society, for her split with Nick Lachey, her husband of three years. Simpson, 25, star of Newlyweds and The Dukes of Hazzard, claimed that her involvement with Mensa was “the straw in the ointment” that doomed her already shaky union with Lachey, 32. “My Read More

Politics

President Bush Says War Critics Can Still Be Patriotic

Biff Scuzzy 447 Views 2 min read

BEIJING – President Bush told reporters yesterday that members of congress who criticize the war in Iraq can still be patriotic. The president’s declaration came after more than a week of harsh rhetoric from some administration officials seeking to demean congressmen or women who oppose the conduct of the war. The vitriolic attacks reached their Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Launches Anti-war Protest

philmaggitti 439 Views 2 min read

MALIBU, Calif. – Pop icon Britney Spears has vowed to stop wearing a bra in public and to refrain from having sex with her husband Kevin Federline until President George W. Bush brings U.S. troops home from Iraq. Spears told reporters outside a veterinarian’s office in Malibu earlier this week that she had gotten the Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie Writes Book, Vows to Read One Next

philmaggitti 454 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Having had the pleasure of seeing The Truth About Diamonds, her first book, published, Nicole Richie told US Weekly that now that she understands “how books are made” she is less intimidated by them and “definitely” plans to read one soon. “I always thought people who wrote books were like supersmart,” said Richie before a book Read More

Religion

Home School Movement Needs Metal Detectors, Says Pat Robertson

philmaggitti 640 Views 2 min read

VIRGINIA BEACH, Vir. – Calling the shooting deaths of Michael and Cathryn Borden “the home schooling movement’s very own Columbine,” televangelist Pat Robertson urged parents who home school their children to install metal detectors in their houses. The Bordens, both 50, who home schooled the three youngest of their five children, resided near the village Read More

Technology

Newest Sony Software Will Limit CD Plays

philmaggitti 487 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Fingering consumers who play the same CD repeatedly as the latest threat to profits, Sony BMG music corporation is introducing new digital rights management (DRM) software that will limit the number of times CDs can be played by purchasers. Beginning next Tuesday all new CDs released on the Sony BMG label—which is Read More

News

Tara Reid Still Celebrating Birthday

philmaggitti 429 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Tara Reid, who turned thirty yesterday, is still toasting the occasion. Reid’s marathon birthday party, which began around sundown Monday, was in its thirty-eighth hour when Reid was sighted staggering out of an after-hours club this morning with Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline in tow. Recently crowned the biggest party animal in Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Fires His Sister over Antidepressant Use

Chip Hilton 453 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Scientologist Tom Cruise fired his sister and publicist, Lee Anne DeVette, yesterday after he had learned she is taking Lexapro, a popular antidepressant. DeVette’s drug use was discovered by Cruise’ fiance, Katie Holmes, who found a bottle of Lexapro in DeVette’s medicine cabinet last weekend while looking for an emery board. “We regret Read More