President Trump Vows to Make GPS Great Again
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump announced this morning that he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he… Read More
Author: Biff Scuzzy
Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy
President-elect Donald Trump said yesterday that he wants to see English become the official language in all fifty states. Currently English is the official language… Read More
Trump Appoints Grammar Grump to New Cabinet Post
President-elect Donald J. Trump has appointed the Grammar Grump to the newly created cabinet post of Secretary of Grammar and Usage, which will replace the… Read More
Huff Post Scribbler Gets Dunce Cap Award for Setting New Lows in Virtue Signaling
Huffington Post scribbler Cole Delbyck has got himself a dunce cap for vowing never to watch Last Tango in Paris again. He put on his… Read More
Gennifer Flowers Vows to Go Commando at First Debate
NEW YORK—Gennifer Flowers, one-time cum-dumpster for then governor of Arkansas, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, says she will “go commando” at Monday night’s first presidential debate.… Read More
Charlotte Rampling Says Fuss Over Cam Newton Is Racist to White QBs
CANCUN—Oscar nominee Charlotte Rampling said yesterday that “all this codswallop” about Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, who is African American, “is racist to white quarterbacks.”… Read More
Trump Win Puts Neo-Nazi German Villages on Tourism Map
As though to acknowledge that fashion is indeed the universal language, Globus® and other purveyors of European package tours have added Wibbese, Jamal, and half… Read More
Colleges Offer Halloween Costume Counseling: You Can’t Photoshop This
Not content with declaring war on date rape, Columbus Day, free speech, men who urinate standing up, and other impediments to the establishment of the… Read More