Your Horoscope Is in the Water Closet
Welcome to the Water Closet, the most sacred chamber in the celestial plumbing system. This is where the stars gather to flush old grudges, unclog… Read More
Welcome to the Water Closet, the most sacred chamber in the celestial plumbing system. This is where the stars gather to flush old grudges, unclog… Read More
I bought a cactus to practice intimacy. It thrived on neglect, resented touch, and punished affection. When it finally died, I felt relieved. At last,… Read More
Journalism used to rely on sources before the rise of the anonymous Redditor. Those sources had credentials. They had expertise. They occasionally returned phone calls.… Read More
Apologize for Autocorrect Bloopers Day is observed annually on the third Tuesday in March. Ironic, isn’t it, that our phones have so many days to… Read More
Letters arrived. Many letters. Perfumed. Tear-stained. Over-sincere. Against his better judgment, Friedrich Nietzsche agreed to Self-Care Product Reviews, casting a weathered, curious, and befuddled eye… Read More
In Dating App Red Flags, we identify warning signs that declare, “the person on your screen bears no resemblance to the person who will show… Read More
Because socks will not fold themselves–yet. According to Playlists for Everyday Chores, a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute for Auditory Anomalies, music can enhance… Read More
Behold the ultimate evolution of the recording artist: a being of pure resonance that never misses a note, never demands a larger trailer, and never gets caught in a scandalous hotel room meltdown with a reality star.
Before we unveil the dirty dozen satirical predictions for 2026, we should reveal how bad we are at this kind of enterprise. Our success rate… Read More