He savored every bite—fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cherry pie. The guards watched silently. He licked his fingers, smiled. “Tastes like freedom,” he said. They didn’t reply. Later, the cell was empty, meal tray wiped clean. Only a note remained: “Thanks for the kindness. I forgave myself today.”
"Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it. (Hunter S. Thompson)
Albert wore his “lucky socks” to the job interview. On the way he stepped in gum, then a sewer grate. He didn’t get the job. Now he’s unemployed. Scientists say luck isn’t real—but Albert disagrees from beneath his umbrella, under a lightning-struck tree. He’s applying next at the horseshoe factory.
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Jesus once said, “The porn you will always have with you.” He was right. In fact, porn is multiplying faster than the loaves and fishes. Last year more than 5.5 billion hours of porn were consumed on Pornhub, the world’s largest porn gallery. Thirty-five percent of all internet… Read More
LOS ANGELES – An anonymous source at Cruise/Wagner Productions reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be close to settling on a tentative wedding date, perhaps as early as this month, perhaps not. The source also revealed that the couple will most likely marry in Europe or North America,… Read More
LOS ANGELES – The pending obituary of actress and author Nicole Richie was updated this week after The Simple Life costar had checked into a treatment facility that specializes in helping celebrities to gain weight. This routine obituary maintenance occurs whenever a celebrity gets married, divorced, engaged, unengaged, caught cheating, outed, arrested… Read More
NEW YORK – The publication of the first pictures of Suri Cruise should drive many stock prices higher, financial analysts predict. The long-anticipated images, featured in an exclusive twenty-two-page spread in the October issue of Vanity Fair, hit newsstands in New York and Los Angeles today and in other markets next… Read More
SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Angelina Jolie has created an endowment to fund the purchase of domain names for Namibian children. Ms. Jolie, the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, created the endowment to “level the playing field in chat rooms and on message boards for Namibian kids,”… Read More
LOS ANGELES – After the birth of her daughter Rowan three years ago, Brooke Shields suffered a crippling case of postpartum depression, which she chronicled in her book Down Came the Rain. Her efforts to help other women with similar problems earned her a broadside from Scientologist Tom Cruise, who belittled… Read More
MALIBU – Happy fifteen, Lil’ Sis. Can you believe it? Fifteen already? Before ya know it, yule be married with a husband and a baby of yore own to support. Ha, ha. If that don’t make you wish you were fifteen again, nothing will. In the meantime, Lil’ Sis, don’t… Read More
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – A Jennifer Lopez fan site has been accused of plagiarism by Postcards from the Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti, who alleges that the fan site “ripped off” his July 4, 2005, Pug Bus entry, “Jennifer Lopez Starts Pet Advice Column,” and reprinted it without permission or… Read More
HOLLYWOOD – Celebutant Paris Hilton has appeared before a grand jury again, this time to testify that she was bilked by a man calling himself Howgul Abul Arhu, who claimed to be an accountant with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation. On Friday Ms. Hilton told a Los Angeles grand jury… Read More
CRAWFORD, Texas – President George W.Bush horrified a group of conservative pro-war activists at a private barbeque on his Crawford, Texas, ranch yesterday when he told The Aristocrats joke during a game of horseshoes. Widely touted as the filthiest joke in history, The Aristocrats is the subject of a recently… Read More
