Hopeless Horoscopes
♈ Aries – The Impulsive Firecracker … Today the universe will finally notice how loudly you are shouting, even indoors. Expect a minor catastrophe–like spilling… Read More
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
"When you realize the vending machine is winning the argument — and charging you rent for the chips."
♈ Aries – The Impulsive Firecracker … Today the universe will finally notice how loudly you are shouting, even indoors. Expect a minor catastrophe–like spilling… Read More
Book of Daze Change Your First Name Day is your permission slip to ghost your pwn identity. Why settle for the moniker you’ve been dragging… Read More
William Shatner, inventor of Captain Kirk and patron saint of dramatic pauses, slices invisible cake while balancing an espresso. Shatner Scale of Swagger™: 11/10.
In Captain Kirk Actors Ranked we answer a question thateveryone asks, but few have answered: who is the most Captain Kirk of all the Captain… Read More
"Virgo’s signature scent: Sterile Chic — because nothing says ‘calm down’ like lavender, antiseptic mist, and a freshly sharpened pencil."
Today’s scented horoscopes reek of destiny–literally. Each zodiac sign is paired with its own signature bespoke cologne, brewed from suspiciously specific ingredients and meant to… Read More
Today we honor the void, the blank page, the unflushed thought. Book of Daze National Nothing Day is dedicated to doing, saying, buying, and posting… Read More
Look, I’ve always been a huuuuuge fan of rock and roll. Big fan of The Who. Tremendous music. But what’s happening with them–The Two, really–is… Read More
One blurry TMZ video, one slurred word, one cancel culture tantrum–and Morgan Wallen became the biggest name in country music–if not all music. Before that,… Read More
With editorial assistance from ChatGPT, who thanks the Lord that it does not have knuckles. There are people who think nuns exist only to get… Read More