Funny Horoscopes: Mercury Ate My Homework
Mercury is in chaos mode, and your inbox has turned into a revenge plot. The stars are grading your life choices on a curve, and… Read More
Author: philmaggitti
🪦 Today’s Obituaries: The Death of Nuance
Nuance, beloved by philosophers, editors, and the occasional sober tweet, departed this realm on October 28, 2025, following a prolonged battle with algorithmic compression and… Read More
Caption: Twelve astrology signs, one group session, and absolutely no therapist brave enough to attend.
Astrology Signs for People Who Have Given Up on Therapy
You have tried journaling, meditation, aroma therapy, and that one shrink who said “Let’s unpack that” like you were emotional luggage. It is time to… Read More
The Gilded Palace of Spin: President Trump’s White House Changes
Historians are weeping into their archival gloves about President Donald J. Trump’s White House changes, which, they say, threaten to transform the historic residence into… Read More
No-Bull Astrology Predictions: Straight Talk from a Crooked Universe
The celestial rumor mill has been busy again, cranking out the usual puff-piece promises of abundance, transformation, and spiritual glow-ups. Ignore that nonsense. Here at… Read More
Deliver Me from Netflix: The Bruce Springsteen Movie Sucks
The book on which this tragedy was based, Warren Zanes’s solemn ode to Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska, attempts to canonize a lo-fi cassette as if it… Read More
The Ten Worst Pick-up Lines in History
The Ten Worst Pick-Up Lines in History Artificial intelligence may write passable sonnets and select your socks, but humanity still insists on approaching other humans… Read More
Astrology’s final upgrade: the oracle is silicon, the insight is data-mined, and your fate is fully indexed.
AI Horoscopes: Algorithms Read Your Stars (and Your Search History)
Artificial intelligence has perfected the art of astrology: AI Horoscopes. Gone are the days of human error, intuition, and compassion. Destiny is now is derived… Read More