postcards from the pug bus – Page 4 – lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Scarlett Johansson’s Ass to Star in American Express Ad

philmaggitti 283 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Scarlett Johansson’s ass and American Express: the perfect fit. Ms. Johansson never leaves home without them.

Scarlett Johansson: My Life, My Card
Name . . . Scarlett Johansson

Born . . . … Read on

News

AMA Dropping Elitist Foreign Names for Phobias

Chip Hilton 275 Views 1 min read

CHICAGO—American Medical Association (AMA) board member Deter Camel, MD, MPH, HMFIC, ended weeks of speculation when he announced yesterday that the association will discontinue its practice of giving “elitist foreign names” to phobias. Dr. Camel … Read on

Book of Daze

National Drunks Against Mad Mothers Day℠

philmaggitti 490 Views 2 min read

James Carville described Pennsylvania as “Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other, and Alabama in between.” Living just far enough west of Philadelphia to witness the truth of Mr. Carville’s observation, we are not … Read on

Culture

Local SPCA Rescues 250 Pug Dog Figurines

philmaggitti 268 Views 4 min read

CHADDS FORD, Penn. – Acting on a tip from a local animal rights activist, police and SPCA officers raided the home of longtime pug figurine collector Dotsie Kerrigan, 67, yesterday. As horrified neighbors in the … Read on

Technology

Updates for Old White Man Apps Due from Apple, Google

philmaggitti 635 Views 2 min read

CUPERTINO, CA—Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking contest to see who can get to market first with a significant upgrade for the Old White Man (OWM) app, which was originally patterned … Read on

Technology

Apple iPhone 12 Contains Fecal Finder™ App

philmaggitti 284 Views 2 min read

In its rollout of the iPhone 12, Apple seems to have saved one of the most revolutionary features of its gear new phone for last: the Fecal Finder™ app, which can detect fecal material as … Read on

News

Wal-Mart Pulls All Chinese Toothpaste in the United States

philmaggitti 365 Views 2 min read

BENTONVILLE, Ark. – Wal-Mart will no longer sell Chinese toothpaste in its United States outlets. The global retail giant announced yesterday that it was taking this step after receiving numerous complaints from its American customers.… Read on

News

Sir Paul Caught on Video Attempting to Buy Pot

philmaggitti 292 Views 2 min read

WINGHAM, Near Sandwich, Kent, Next to Blasingstone-on-Avon England—A potentially embarrassing iPhone 10 video in which Paul McCartney is seen attempting to buy marijuana in the rural village of Wingham, Kent, is in the sweaty hands … Read on

Blog

Five Signs That Your Karma Needs a Makeover

philmaggitti 449 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Karma, the law of moral causation, was invented more than 2,500 years ago in Northern India to answer troubling questions about the inequalities of life. People wanted to know, for example, why one … Read on

Blog

Are You the Master of Your Bedroom?

philmaggitti 278 Views 2 min read

The true conservative does not like anything to happen that has not happened before. He prefers old dogs, old friends, old whiskey, and old songs…old words, too…and he’s apt to become shirty when old words … Read on

News

America Rocked by Assault on Capitol Decor

Chip Hilton 278 Views 1 min read

The honorable representative from Delaware shit herself, went blind, and fell over in a dead faint.

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—Last Wednesday afternoon a mob of Trump supporters, many of them armed, was roaming about the Senate … Read on

Book of Daze

National Pardon Yourself Day

philmaggitti 323 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—Everyone, it seems, has an opinion regarding a president’s authority to pardon himself for wrong doings of a pardonable sort. Ever the contrarians, we do not have an opinion in this regard. … Read on

News

President Trump Grants Emergency Sick Days to COVID-19 Victims

Biff Scuzzy 358 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump is expected to sign a presidential order intended to alleviate the suffering of COVID-19 victims in the battered Dakotas region. Hurrying into the White House, wearing a defiant yellow slicker on his … Read on

Technology

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

philmaggitti 302 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, PA—The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way onto the tablets, mobile phones, and computers of selected persons who visit the BLM … Read on

Book of Daze

National Irregardless Day

philmaggitti 358 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—We fucking love the sound of irregardless. It’s a four-syllable word from the wrong side of the dictionary, we know; but one should never send a three-syllable word to do the … Read on