postcards from the pug bus – Page 5 – lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Whoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure

philmaggitti 298 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—A gay, British, former friend of mine who was active in the animal rights movement … and, some whispered, active in the animal rights “underground” too … hated … Read on

Saints Alive

St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions

philmaggitti 504 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa. – Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age. Her fondness for frolic was something of an embarrassment to her father, Lord Seefeth, … Read on

The Grammar Prick

The Grammar Prick’s Lockdown Lessons

philmaggitti 298 Views 2 min read

I hope you boys and girls have been wearing your masks and practicing social distancing. Remember, good masks make good neighbors,and anyone who gets within six feet of you is … Read on

Technology

Biden Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions

philmaggitti 243 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President-elect Joseph R. Biden announced yesterday that “on Day One” he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he stopped short of suggesting a link … Read on

Ass Hats

Van Morrison Is the Ass Hat of the Moment

philmaggitti 318 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—That disgusting, little fat-shit Van Morrison, all of 5’5″ in his high-heeled boots, is the Ass Hat of the Moment for September 27. At one time a snot-flinging, curb-biting drunk, Morrison is … Read on

News

NSA Blames Vague Terror Warning on Inability to Decode Pig Latin

philmaggitti 285 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.–An unnamed official with the National Security Agency (NSA) said that the organization’s recent vague terror warning—”We are positive that somebody, somewhere is planning something against the United Stares at some point in the … Read on

Blog

Math, Gravity, and Speed Limits Reek of White Supremacy

philmaggitti 287 Views 3 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.—Brooklyn College Professor of Math Education Laurie Rubel proclaimed recently on Twitter that the mathematical equation 2+2=4 “reeks of white supremacist patriarchy. The idea that math (or … Read on

Blog

Why I Love the Coronavirus

philmaggitti 306 Views 3 min read

COVID-19 is the gift pandemic that keeps on giving: a gleaming, unforgiving mirror that reflects the foibles, failures, and foolhardiness of the American people in 4K mind-blowing splendor. No one is exempt, Skippy, not republicans, … Read on

News

CFA Says Tiger Is Most Popular Cat Password

Chip Hilton 280 Views 2 min read

ALLIANCE, OH—According to The Cat Fanciers’ Association (CFA), the world’s largest registry of pedigreed cats, the cat name used most frequently as a computer password among its members is Tiger… Read on

News

New Study Suggests That Obesity Is Weighing Down the Human Soul

philmaggitti 274 Views 1 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa–A new study published in Applied Psychological Measurement suggests that the obesity epidemic has begun to make quantifiable inroads on the human soul. The study, conducted by a team of researchers from … Read on

Book of Daze

National Schrödinger’s Cat Day Quiz℠

philmaggitti 493 Views 3 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–There is only one kind of person in the world. He who knows about Schrödinger’s cat, and he who doesn’t. For most of us, however, Schrödinger’s cat is a meme in search … Read on

Book of Daze

National Unbaptize the Dead Day℠

philmaggitti 384 Views 2 min read

Skeleton getting baptized. — I unbaptize thee.

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–We take no small measure of joy in knowing there are people in the world quietly going about undoing the work done by others in god’s name. The Universal … Read on

Book of Daze

National Penultimate Day℠

philmaggitti 902 Views 4 min read

(Special to the Pug Bus from the Daily Lack of News)

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Our culture is obsessed with going the extra mile, giving 110 percent, leaving it all on the field. Supermarkets are open … Read on

Book of Daze

National Aristocrats Joke Day℠

philmaggitti 387 Views 4 min read

Aristocrat's Movie Poster — “This guy and his wife, their two kids, their grandmother, and the family dog walk on stage . . .

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–The most offensive joke in history, “The Aristocrats,” was weaponized in a … Read on

Uncategorized

Keister Family Tired of Being Butt of Jokes

philmaggitti 270 Views 2 min read

LIVONIA, Mich. – Ron and Linda Keister of Livonia have filed a civil suit against their next door neighbor Tim Dryzinski. The Keisters seek $275,000 in damages from Mr. Dryzinski “because he has ignored repeated … Read on