postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Celebrities

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Leave Namibia in Chaos

Chip Hilton 431 Views 2 min read

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Standing proudly in front of a large banner that read “Mission Accomplished,” Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt waved to a cheering crowd of body-guards, personal servants, and security experts prior to departing Namibia. Ms. Jolie and Mr. Pitt, dressed in military fatigues, were accompanied by their children—Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh Nouvel—who were Read More

News

U.S. Military Leaks al-Zarqawi Sex Tape, Sunnis Riot

philmaggitti 424 Views 5 min read

RAMADI , Iraq – Thousands of Sunnis rioted after a U.S. military official had leaked a copy of a twenty-five-minute sex tape found in the rubble of the “safe house” where Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed on Wednesday. The tape, which somehow survived the bomb blast that killed Mr. al-Zarqawi and seven of his associates, Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Slams Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt

Chip Hilton 423 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Tom Cruise has charged Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt with exploiting their newborn daughter, Shiloh Nouvel, “to wage a multimillion-dollar publicity campaign to bolster their careers.” Mr. Cruise made these charges in an op-ed piece entitled “What Price Publicity?” in today’s New York Times. “Brangelina’s constant, manic travel and their grandstanding for ‘goodwill causes’ Read More

Sporting Life

Michelle Wie Contemplates Retiring from Golf

philmaggitti 506 Views 4 min read

SUMMIT, N.J. – Michelle Wie has nothing left to prove on the golf course, and she may retire soon to pursue other career opportunities in arenas traditionally dominated by men. Ms. Wie made her announcement yesterday after another inspiring performance, this time at the Canoe Brook Country Club, where she dominated the galleries and the Read More

Politics

President Bush Wants Ban on Same-Sex Cruises

Chip Hilton 483 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush told his weekly radio broadcast audience Saturday that he believes the constitution should be amended to ban same-sex-only vacation cruises. The move is widely seen as a bid to shore up the president’s collapsing support among conservative voters and vacationers. President Bush attacked what he called “activist vacation Read More

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie Buys Domain Names for Namibian Children

T.J. Eckleburg 425 Views 2 min read

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Angelina Jolie has created an endowment to fund the purchase of domain names for Namibian children. Ms. Jolie, the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, created the endowment to “level the playing field in chat rooms and on message boards for Namibian kids,” said a Jolie spokeswoman. According Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Baby Quiz Exclusive

Chip Hilton 443 Views 3 min read

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have squashed the feeding frenzy that had threatened to overwhelm them, but their strong-arm tactics have deprived their fans of any meaningful Brangelina fix for days. If you are one of the millions of people jonesing for news of substance about the golden couple and their Read More

Politics

President Bush Issues Memorial Day Cell Phone Virus Alert

Biff Scuzzy 424 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush has warned Americans that the Memorial Day cell phone virus, the most virulent in-the-wild mobile phone virus yet discovered in the United States, is set to wreak havoc on the lives of teenagers, SUV drivers, and text-messaging vacationers across the land. During his weekly radio address yesterday, the president hinted Read More

Sporting Life

Barbaro E-mail Addresses Bombarded with Spam

philmaggitti 456 Views 2 min read

KENNET SQUARE, Penna. – Two e-mail addresses created to allow racing fans to send get well messages to Barbaro may have to be shut down. According to Dean Richardson, the veterinarian who operated on the Kentucky Derby champion after he had fractured his right hind leg in the Preakness, more than half the e-mails sent Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie Splits from DJ Again, Another Book Is Blamed

Biff Scuzzy 432 Views 4 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Once again a book has come between author Nicole Richie and her ex-fiance Adam Goldstein. Ms. Richie, 24, and Mr. Goldstein, 33, were engaged in February last year; but he called it quits in December, one month after the publication of Ms. Richie’s first novel, The Truth about Diamonds. Apparently Truth contained too much “truth” about Read More

Music

Paul McCartney Mourns Loss of Handicapped Parking Sticker

philmaggitti 425 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Friends of ex-Beatle Paul McCartney say he is disconsolate about the loss of the handicapped parking sticker to which he had access while he was living with his estranged, one-legged wife, Heather Mills. “It’s really all he talks about,” said Pink Floyd frontman David Gilmour. “That and the great sex they had. Apparently Read More

Celebrities

Spay Britney Spears Campaign Picks Up Endorsements

Chip Hilton 445 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The campaign to spay Britney Spears, launched yesterday by Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading satirical website, has gained three important endorsements. According to Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti, the American Kennel Club (AKC), the Mensa Society, and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) have expressed their Read More