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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

MD

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

RC

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

NV

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

Roger Daltrey of The Who in performance, hitting himself in the head with a swinging microphone, his pot belly visible beneath a tight navy t-shirt—capturing the tragic comedy of aging rock stardom.

"Ouch! Mother-fucker.

The Who Threatened with Deportation by President Trump

As told to The Pug Bus cultural commentary, trump 8 months

Look, I’ve always been a huuuuuge fan of rock and roll. Big fan of The Who. Tremendous music. But what’s happening with them–The Two, really–is… Read More

Cartoon of Mike Love's latest album--Unleash the Love

"All you need isn't Love."

Mike Love: The Man, The Myth, The Me-Me-Me

philmaggitti cultural commentary, trump 8 months

Welcome to the latest Mike Love advertisements for himself, where the Beach Boys’ front man continues his tireless mission to transform narcissism into a religion.… Read More

President Trump being escorted on stage by Kid Rock and the Hulk

"The one in the green is not Rosie O'Donnell."

President Trump Wants Celebrity Walk-Out Crews

philmaggitti Morgan Wallen, trump 10 months

In a bold, theatrical pivot designed to inject fresh celebrity sparkle into his public appearances, President Donald J. Trump has announced that he will now… Read More

President Trump at his computer

"Die, you bastards, die."

President Trump Dismantles Reddit

philmaggitti 50-Word Stories, trump 11 months

Yesterday, with his 500th Executive Order, PresidentTrump dismantled Reddit, whose 500 million monthly users exceed the populations of most countries. “‘Front door of the Internet,’… Read More

Cartoon image of Isaab Newton and a few apples falling near his head

"An apple a day keeps ..."

Book of Daze: Conservation of Gravity Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze, trump 3 years

A critical shortfall of gravity brought on by the failed gravitational policies of the past is the greatest existential threat facing this country. The United… Read More

Celebrity Scandals Satire image of Bob Ross the painter.

"Cultural appropriator."

Carron J. Phillips of Deadspin is the Dunce Cap of the Moment

philmaggitti dunce cap, trump 3 years

Inspiration, like god, works in mysterious ways. Just the other day we were inspired by a piece we saw on the Deadspin website, not a… Read More

High Times Declares Five Strains of Cannabis Extinct

philmaggitti marijuana, trump 4 years

High Times magazine estimates that 98 percent of all marijuana strains ever created have gone extinct, and more strains face the danger of extinction each… Read More

America Rocked by Assault on Capitol Decor

Chip Hilton trump 5 years

LastWednesday afternoon a mob of Trump supporters, many of them armed, was roaming about the Senate floor and the Capitol Rotundalooking for souvenirs and a… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.