philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

Indigenous riders in traditional regalia cross a desert at sunset, proclaiming sovereignty over stolen land with flags, feathers, and a dramatic mesa backdrop.

The stars filed a complaint, and the land agreed.

The Stolen Land Zodiac Wants Its Forecasts Back

The Stolen Land Zodiac is back to reclaim its forecasts. It is not impressed with what you have constructed in its absence. Sacred prophecies have… Read More

A man in a plush panda suit stands in a futuristic, neon-lit bathroom attempting to outsmart a glowing smart toilet spy that is projecting a "high bamboo intake" warning on a holographic screen.

If you wish to defeat the smart toilet spy, you must first convince it that you are a high-ranking official from the World Wildlife Fund.

Technology

Confronting the Smart Toilet Spy

philmaggitti tech satire 8 months

The Department of Health and Human Services, in partnership with the nation’s largest insurance conglomerates, released without preamble or being asked to updated smart toilet… Read More

Vintage Belle Époque–style illustration for the shell game, showing a mustachioed French doctor examining an X-ray that reveals a WWI artillery shell lodged inside a patient.

Le Mystère de 'Obus': Shell we say, it was a blast.

Blog

The Shell Game: You Can’t Satirize This

philmaggitti blog 9 months

The shell game violates the contract between a satirist and the world. According to that agreement, the satirist takes something real—something stupid, broken, magnificently daft—and… Read More

An extreme close-up of a human face featuring a prominent third eye centered on the forehead. As if it is struggling to focus on a distant cosmic plane. The entire scene is bathed in a hazy, ethereal atmosphere with floating geometric light leaks and a soft, shimmering background.

I'll keep an eye out for you.

News

Does Your Third Eye Need Glasses?

philmaggitti news 9 months

The Third Eye is the most neglected organ in the human body, which is saying something given how badly most people treat the pancreas. According… Read More

Satirical illustration of country stars grilling a Grammy trophy at a backyard barbecue as they boycott the Grammys, laughing with guitars, beer bottles, and a dog nearby.

Boycott the Grammys. Honoring country music with consistent indifference.

Culture Music

Ten Other Reasons to Boycott the Grammys

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 9 months

Country megastars Miranda Lambert, George Strait, and Morgan Wallen will boycott the Grammys this year because they have had enough of the Grammys’ “We’ll Get… Read More

President threatens England illustration: standing behind a massive leather-bound dictionary in the Oval Office while pointing at the word MAGASTAR in gold leaf; shocked British scholars in wigs surround him as money and "Lexical Embargo" papers fly through the air next to a "Crumb Tariffs" jar.

"If you do not print the word, I will tax the tea until it tastes like the harbor."

News

President Threatens England with Economic Ruin over “Magastar”

philmaggitti news, trump 9 months

The delicate peace between the United States and the United Kingdom shattered this morning when the President issued a final, gold-embossed warning to the scholars… Read More

Old balding man trying to read a book, illustrating the cognitive and visual challenges of getting old

“This seemed easier when the letters behaved.”

Blog

What a Drag It Is Getting Old

philmaggitti blog 9 months

Getting old is not a crisis. It is a slow-motion systems failure. Time stops cooperating. Monday insists it is Wednesday. Tuesday disappears entirely to avoid… Read More

Illustration of a woman calmly attending her own wake while the Grim Reaper consults a clipboard, surrounded by floating question marks and checklists, symbolizing follow-up questions that persist even after death.

Death promised no follow-up questions. Death lied.

Flash

Follow-up Questions

philmaggitti 50-Word Stories 9 months

The obituary listed my hobbies as surviving and keeping receipts. Friends praised my consistency. Enemies forgot my name. I attended my own wake out of… Read More